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David Stern is down with Pierre the Pelican

It has been three weeks into the season, and children in and around New Orleans still cannot get much sleep with Pierre the Pelican haunting the New Orleans Arena.

The smiling, green monstrosity of a bird made quite the wave in social media with his haunting smile. Hugo is rolling around in his hive waiting for the Hornets to return (Rufus is dreading this inevitable decision).

If there is one man that can save us from the nightmare, you would think it is NBA czar commissioner David Stern, right?

Before attending last week's game in New Orleans, Stern played coy and did the lawyerly thing offering no comment on the Pelicans' buzzworthy new mascot:

I haven't seen him yet, but I'm sure he's great. I will keep my opinion to myself.

There is no doubting Pierre is a capable mascot. But staring at his eyes gives you the feeling of the narrator from "The Tell-Tale Heart." I can hear Hugo's heart beating beneath the New Orleans Arena floor.

Stern should listen to But this? This is not a pelican. This is some horror-show mash-up of a chicken and a clown, and it is downright terrifying. It looks like a mascot Dr. Frankenstein would assemble in a Saw-style basement dungeon out of parts from leftover dead mascots. For the sake of the children, please return to the drawing board.

Philip Rossman-Reich

About Philip Rossman-Reich

Philip Rossman-Reich is the managing editor for Crossover Chronicles and Orlando Magic Daily. You can follow him on twitter @OMagicDaily

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