Six free agents fans should fear their team signing

Free agents are normally something fans get excited about when their favorite team announces a signing.  Alas, not all signings are not created equal.  For some, you'll want to dance in the street with joy.  For others, you'll be struck with immediate buyer's remorse.  And then there are those that make you downright sick to your stomach.  These are the players that will induce that nausea for some unlucky fanbases this off-season:

A.J. Pierzynski – From a production standpoint, you probably won't have any issues with Pierzynski.  There is something to be said about being skeptical about signing a 36-year old catcher coming off a career year though.  No, the real problem is Pierzynski the person.  At some point he is going to do something remarkably douchey to an opponent or throw someone on his own team under the bus because Pierzynski gonna Pierzynski. Then you're going to be stuck with A.J., knowing that he's your problem now and that you should've known better.

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Jose Valverde – Hey, remember how Valverde didn't blow a single save in 2011?  That's what you'll want to focus on if your team signs Papa Grande.  Definitely don't focus on the fact that the Tigers basically disavowed his very existence during their post-season run because he couldn't get anybody out.

James Loney – That power stroke is going to come in any year.  Yep, aaaaannnnny year now.

Jamie Moyer – This is nothing against Moyer.  He has a tremendous career and the fact that he was able to pitch in the majors at 49 years old is a stellar accomplishment, even if he didn't pitch particulary well.  However, if he is pitching for your favorite team in 2013, you can safely assume that your team's off-season plan went horribly awry and that they will not even come close to reaching the post-season.

Delmon Young – Laughable defense?  Check.  Non-existent plate discipline?  Hack.. err, I mean check.  Drunken, hate-filled tirades?  Check and check.  There is just so much to not love.

Nick Johnson – He's incredibly injury-prone and hasn't been even mildly productive in years, plus he's in his mid-thirties.  Yet for some reason someone is going to sign him anyway.  But do you know what the worst part is?  You have to look at all his creepy headshots.

Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson

Garrett Wilson is the Supreme Overlord of Monkeywithahalo.com and editor at The Outside Corner. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry.

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