Satellite camp battle a fruitless fight for SEC, but worth the try

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Overheard on no construction site while roofing a house ever in the history of man:

“Hey, could you hand me that hammer. I gotta pop in these 40 bundles of shingles.”

“I just put the nail gun by you. It’s all hooked up and ready to go.”

“No, I prefer using the hammer, make it a little harder on myself and speed up my getting arthritis.”

One man’s industriousness is often another man’s laziness. I mean, they make doo hickeys you can put on the end of your golf putter so you don’t have to bend down to get it out of the hole and it attaches by suctioning the ball up.

So when the SEC Spring Meetings had their first day today and they were all in unison hatred of satellite camps, the only response any measured person could have was, “duh.”

Regardless of your stance on them, the SEC would be idiotic to not vocally oppose them and even if it meant having all the success of tinkling into a head wind, taking whatever measures possible to get them banned. It won’t happen in the end, but you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.

The SEC is sort of in a situation where the majority of the pretty girls are in the sorority their frat is partnered with, and the other conferences want to start attending the Saturday night sock hops or whatever the kids call them these days. There’s nothing that says they can’t, and that makes the fraternity of southern coaches awfully worried that now everyone can talk to their girls if they don’t mind BYOB and walking a mile down frat row to get there.

It was inevitable that no matter where the talent was, the top coaches from wherever were going to find a way to be there, whether as someone’s guest or through satellite camps. It’s the jobs of these highly competitive people to out compete the other highly competitive people, and if the folks that help you get there aren’t in your backyard, you pack up the Silverado and hitch it on over to where they hang out.

To be clear, the ACC is hanging out with the SEC already, so they’re not alone. The conferences could get in line with the other three of the Power 5 and go do the same thing to them, but it benefits the SEC and ACC to try to push through legislation, we’ll call it, that bans it rather than get in line with everyone else.

It’s no human novelty to vote on stuff you might not totally agree with … but is better for you. Nor does it make it completely wrong.

The issue is that even if the other three conferences didn’t stand to benefit from it, it’s hard to see them getting in line with the oft-self-aggrandizing SEC just for the sake of having  uniform rules.

Then, you have the whole matter of lawyers and stuff, which Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick recently brought up when talking about the future of banning satellite camps as that discussion blows in on heavy winds from the south with a promise of NCAA emperor Mark Emmert.

All in all, they won’t end up being banned and probably are good for the sport … because honestly … the athletes should be made every opportunity possible to find the best fit for them as a college student and athlete rather than having a deck stacked against them on who they can be exposed to and how.

But it doesn’t make the SEC or ACC some rogue pack of wolves for trying to oppose it, either. It’s called common sense. But everyone’s coming to the party Saturday night, and the reality is, you’re going to need to either wear nicer clothes or up your game to get what you’ve always got to this point.

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