A weekly TGS staple is back, ready to mock the NFL each and every Tuesday morning. The premise is pretty self-explanatory, so let’s get right to our first review of the stupidest things to take place throughout the league this past weekend.
The stupidest quarterback decision
Um, Tony Romo. See that defender who fell in coverage? Isn’t that a dead giveaway that Dwayne Harris is probably wide open in the end zone just a few yards beyond that? Take a look, bro!
How does a veteran quarterback miss that? And the worst part is that he wound up throwing an interception on the play.
The second-stupidest quarterback decision
That would be Jay Cutler inexplicably trying to force a pass that was intercepted with Chicago on the edge of field-goal territory in the fourth quarter of a tie game, on 3rd-and-1 no less.
Live to see another down, Jay. This might have ultimately cost the Bears the game.
The third-stupidest quarterback decision
OK, former Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco. You’re in the opponent’s red zone with fewer than 10 seconds remaining in the first half and you’ve got no timeouts. Do what you want, but don’t get sacked.
“That’s probably the stupidest play I’ve ever made,” Flacco said afterwards, per Pro Football Talk. Precisely.
The stupidest play call
I know Andrew Luck sometimes feels like Superman, but against this stacked defensive front on fourth down, it simply wasn’t the time or place for a keeper.
The stupidest offensive strategy
I understand that the Washington Redskins want to make things as easy as possible on Robert Griffin III, and I realize quick passes are ideal when facing a fierce defensive front featuring a dude like J.J. Watt. But Jay Gruden took things a little too far Sunday against Houston.
Despite trailing all day, only seven of Griffin’s 37 pass attempts cleared 10 yards in the air. At one point in the second quarter he was 10-for-11 for only 33 yards. They babied him.
It’s one thing to be conservative as you try to turn your franchise quarterback into more of a pocket passer, but it’s a little ridiculous when you turn a third-year No. 2 overall pick into Captain Checkdown.
The second-stupidest offensive strategy
Sunday was not Alex Smith’s day. The Kansas City Chiefs were a mess against Tennessee. And yet Jamaal Charles, who owns the highest career yards-per-rush average among backs with at least 1,000 carries, took just seven handoffs all day.
“Not giving 25 the ball more than seven times is negligence on my part,” Reid admitted later, per Terez Paylor of the Kansas City Star.
Negligent, stupid. Same thing, basically.
The stupidest defensive strategy
This one goes to Lovie Smith, who unsurprisingly went Cover 2-happy against a Carolina Panthers team that was lacking its starting quarterback while featuring receivers who nobody would be caught calling “good,” let alone “dangerous.”
The Buccaneers blitzed Derek Anderson just eight times Sunday, creating almost no pressure. They just refused to pack the box, regardless of field position.
I mean, c’mon…
It was stubborn and far too conservative, and it might have cost the Bucs a winnable game.
The stupidest fourth-down decision
More Lovie bashing! But seriously, I know you might be a little rusty after a year away, but why the hell are you punting on a fourth down while trailing by 17 points in the fourth quarter?
At that point, according to win probability numbers produced by Advanced NFL Stats, the Bucs had about a 2 percent chance of winning the game. Probably worth rolling the dice, guys.
The stupidest special-teams decision-maker
Whoever decided to trust Earl Thomas to return punts Thursday night.
Oh, and whatever the hell this was from Josh McCown…
While we’re at it, let’s just call the Bucs stupid (one more time) for paying that career third-stringer $10 million at the age of 35.