We wrap up Week 5 of the 2014 NFL regular season with an audit on everything stupid that took place over the course of the weekend.
The stupidest late-game strategy
I know it feels as though field goals have become automatic nowadays, especially when you’ve got a kicker like Dan Bailey, who entered Sunday’s Cowboys game against Houston having made 29 consecutive attempts. But sometimes, coaches become way too satisfied simply with being in their kicker’s “range” and get way too conservative once that has happened.
Dallas head coach Jason Garrett made that mistake not once, but twice in crunch time Sunday.
First, with seven seconds left in the fourth quarter and the game tied, Dallas had the ball at Houston’s 37-yard line. Garrett still had a timeout in his back pocket, so there was plenty of time to make a safe throw in order to move 10 or 15 yards closer for Bailey.
But instead, they handed off to running back DeMarco Murray — who, by the way, has already lost four fumbles this season — setting Bailey up with a 53-yard field goal attempt. I don’t care who you are, those are never easy. The longer they are, the harder they are to make.
Bailey missed.
The Houston defense had given giving Dallas far too much pad. Quarterback Tony Romo was moving the ball at ease. So the run there was a stupid move, especially since Murray failed to even get the ball back to the center of the field.
Fast-forward to overtime, where Garrett decided to have Bailey once again attempt a lower-than-usual-percentage field goal from 49 yards, this time on third down. I understand why it’s sometimes prudent to attempt the kick on third down in case something goes wrong, but that should only apply for short- or medium-range kicks.
In this case, the risk of a bad snap was outweighed by the risk of another missed kick, especially since Bailey had misfired from only four extra yards earlier.
Bailey bailed his coach out by making the kick to win the game, which is why Garrett is taking no heat today. But those decisions were still stupid, so he’s not off the hook with us.
The stupidest late-game strategy, 2.0
The Lions weren’t exactly running the lights out Sunday against Buffalo, but George Winn and Reggie Bush still had a decent 61 combined yards on 17 carries. That’s why it’s so baffling that, with Calvin Johnson injured and while trying to protect a fourth-quarter lead, the the Lions completely forgot that they were legally allowed to hand the ball off.
In the fourth quarter Sunday, Detroit ran 13 passing plays and only two running plays.
After a 55-yard catch-and-run from Golden Tate set them up at the Buffalo 34-yard line with 47 seconds to play in a tie game, there should have been no way in hell the Bills were getting the ball back unless the game went to overtime. But with a timeout in their back pocket, the Lions had Matthew Stafford drop back to attempt three consecutive passes.
On those plays, Stafford went 1-for-2 with a one-yard scramble and a fluky one-yard completion, forcing the mess that was Alex Henery to attempt a 50-yard field goal to take the lead. But because they didn’t even attempt a run, Henery’s miss came with 21 seconds still on the clock.
Three plays later, the Bills kicked the game-winning field goal.
The stupidest late-game strategy, take 3
Usually, I’m down with coaches taking chances on fourth down. But when Falcons head coach Mike Smith had his offense go for it on 4th-and-1 from its own 29-yard line with 4:40 still to play in the fourth quarter of a one-score game, he was simply being an idiot.
I know, the Falcons hadn’t been able to stop the Giants’ offense throughout the second half, but you’ve gotta have more faith in your defense than that regardless. Plus, Atlanta still had all three of its timeouts, and punting it away at that point ever-so-often pays off because the team with the lead gets so caught up in milking the clock that a punt is coming back the other way after a trio of vanilla runs.
And here’s where the whole thing gets even stupider: Smith had quarterback Matt Ryan drop back to throw a pass. The whole attraction regarding 4th-and-1 is that it’s generally not that hard to gain a yard on a quarterback sneak, a standard handoff or — if you’re really feeling ballsy — maybe a play-action screen. But in this case, there was no play fake and there were limited options in the flats. It might as well have been 4th-and-8.
Just plain stupid.
The stupidest late-game strategy, part 4
Smith wasn’t the only coach who made a weird fourth-down decision in the fourth quarter. In Tennessee, Ken Whisenhunt inexplicably had his team go for it on a 4th-and-1 at its own 42-yard line with a six-point lead and three minutes remaining in the fourth quarter.
Your offense hasn’t been able to move the ball since the second quarter, your running game has gone nowhere for most of the day, and you roll the dice there rather than pinning the Browns back? I don’t get it. After the failed conversion attempt, it took the Browns only four plays to travel 42 yards to the Tennessee end zone, and that was the difference.
The stupidest late-game strategy, 5th edition
Back to the Houston-Dallas game, which apparently nobody wanted to win. The Texans deserve some criticism for their penultimate offensive drive, simply because there was no sense of urgency for a team down 10 points in the fourth quarter.
Following an 18-yard completion from Ryan Fitzpatrick to DeAndre Hopkins, Houston had the ball at the Dallas 39-yard line with 7:13 to play. They’d gain 27 more yards over the next six plays, in the process — and this is hard to believe — chewing up 4:42 of game time. That’s right, down 10, Bill O’Brien had his team somehow eat up nearly five minutes of clock in order to gain 17 yards on just six plays.
An incomplete pass on the seventh play set up a 29-yard field goal.
Good thing for the Texans that Dallas was just as clock-challenged on the ensuing drive, so they’d get a chance to tie the game anyway. Still, stuppppid.
The stupidest penalty, team edition
The Chiefs might have had the 49ers just where they wanted them. San Fran head coach Jim Harbaugh was taking a huge risk lining his guys up for a 54-yard field goal with a two-point lead and just over four minutes to play in the fourth quarter. A miss would have given Kansas City plenty of time and great field position.
But instead, Kansas City had 12 men on the field before the snap, giving the Niners a fresh set of downs as a result of a five-yard penalty.
San Francisco would get 24 yards closer and take more than two more minutes off the clock before hitting a field goal to go up five. And with extra pressure on the ensuing drive, Alex Smith forced a pass that was intercepted, ending the game.
The stupidest penalty, zebra edition
You know what the problem is nowadays with all of these over-the-top unnecessary roughness calls? Officials have become scared to death of not throwing the flag on a hit that could result in yet another injury, and so they err on the side of penalty all too often. That was the case here, when the three officials closest to the play didn’t throw a flag on Quinton Coples, but the dude on the other side of the field did…
These days, violent hits are being treated as unnecessarily rough hits, and the rules regarding what’s legal and what’s illegal have become so murky that officials can’t win. It’s simply stupid.
The stupidest special-teams play
The Bears did a lot of stupid things in Carolina, but one particular punt gave us a double dose of Chicago stupid.
First, Teddy Williams decided to smash Panthers return man Philly Brown before the ball had arrived…
But then, no Bears player was mindful of the fact the play was still live. Nobody downed it, and this happened…
How does that happen?
The stupidest attempt at a last gasp
No timeouts and eight seconds left, down a point, and the Titans do this?
Did they even want to win? Did they think there was a fifth quarter?
The second-stupidest attempt at a last gasp
The Rams were down six points at the Philadelphia 48-yard line with 42 seconds to play, facing a 4th-and-8…and they took a delay-of-game penalty.
Dating back to 1998, teams have converted 4th-and-8 31 percent of the time. On 4th-and-13, that rate drops to 14 percent. Killer penalty, and completely unnecessary.
The stupidest defensive strategy
This also goes to the Rams for their decision not to cover top Eagles receiver Jeremy Maclin…
The stupidest moment of the entire season, hands down
Bills defensive coordinator and former Lions head coach Jim Schwartz is already one of the most unlikable people in the NFL. And by reportedly asking his players to carry him off the field following a sloppy Week 5 victory over his former team, he cemented it. This was stupid in every single respect.
I’m embarrassed for you, Jim.
Oh, and this…
DUVALLLLL RT @SkipToMyLu33: lady in pool at Jags game with jeans and sweatshirt pic.twitter.com/ASSJkF2Exx
— Adam Kramer (@KegsnEggs) October 5, 2014
