We all have people in our lives who matter to us. The more we invest in a relationship with them, the more return we get: in good conversations, fun, and loyalty. A good friend is an ally when life starts going wrong. Good friends become a support group, a community. A good friend is, as they say, a rare gift.

While we all appreciate our friends, sometimes that appreciation gets swept under the rug. Life comes up. Phone calls interrupt. We feel like we’ve told them, recently, how much they mean to us–but in reality, it’s been awhile. Friends are like nothing else–they’re not kids. They’re not parents. They’re not our spouse. They’re not bound by blood or matrimonial ties; they stay because they want to. Friends, more than anyone else, prove to us that we’re likeable. That we’re someone worth getting to know. They offer us something special that no one else does, but we don’t do the same things for them that we do for our family. We don’t pay for their medical bills in old age, we don’t throw them an elaborate party every year and give them six presents, and we don’t buy them flowers or cards or take them on romantic vacations.

In other words, friends play a very special role in our lives, but culturally, there’s not much we do to thank them. We take them out for drinks, maybe. But sometimes it’s nice to do something even better for them, to upset the status quo and give them flowers and an expensive date. Metaphorically speaking.

While the idea of giving something special to your friends might appeal to you, you won’t know where to start. After all, nobody does this. If you want to give them a unique thank you… what do you do?

Make a list of what they love or need and work from there. If they’ve been feeling down or isolated, get a book made with notes from all their friends, past and present. If they love to travel, buy them an inexpensive trip and send them packing. If they’re a cocktail snob, have a box of cocktail supplies randomly delivered to their door–whether you live in Pittsburgh, PA or Woodbridge, NJ, it’s easy to browse and buy great alcohol online.

Friends are the spice of life. They keep us from going crazy. They provide a social life, a creative outlet, a place to rant and relate. They pull stress and burden away from our spouse, improving our marriages. They provide accountability and make us better people. With all that work they do to make our lives better, it’s high time we got them a special something to say, “Thank you.”