John Oliver’s monologue on Last Week Tonight is becoming a weekly must-see event. When that monologue is on FIFA corruption, it is a true thing of beauty. Oliver has previously targeted FIFA on multiple occasions on his program, but this week’s episode amounted to a victory cigar after the arrest of several FIFA executives on corruption charges.
Here it is in its entirety via the Last Week Tonight YouTube page:
Some highlights…
On the US Government arrests:
“It took the country that cares the least about football to bring down the people who are trying to ruin it.”
On Jack Warner citing an Onion story as something real:
“It says something about how corrupt FIFA is that one of their ex-vice presidents could look at that story and think, yea.”
On Blatter’s re-election:
“He presided over the worst fiasco in their history. It’s like a Sony executive greenlighting a sequel in the middle of watching Aloha.”
On Blatter:
“To truly kill a snake you must cut off its head, or in this case its arsehole.”
It all culminates in Oliver promising to drink a Bud Light Lime if sponsors can exert enough pressure on Blatter to leave FIFA. That’s how desperate those of us who love soccer are to see Blatter removed and the beautiful game rescued from his deathgrip.