The NFL regular season is on, and so too is the MVP race. Too early to start gauging MVP chances, you say? Shut up. Uncool to tell your readers to shut up? Maybe, but we’re in a cheeky mode and this post is inevitably going to be dripping with sarcasm anyway.
The MVP race through, um, one week…
1. Matt Ryan, Falcons — Ryan is on pace to pass for 7,168 yards while leading the undefeated Falcons to the No. 1 seed in the NFC. His 128.8 passer rating would also be a record, which is pretty ballin’ when you consider he did that against a feisty Saints defense.
2. Calvin Johnson, Lions — I mean, if you hit 2,624 yards and 32 touchdowns, you’re bound to be the MVP. Megatron looks as good as ever, but he faced a weak opponent Monday night so he’s still behind Ryan.
3. Peyton Manning, Broncos — No Wes Welker, no problem. Manning torched the Colts for much of the night. He might win this thing for a sixth time.
4. Matthew Stafford, Lions — Anybody can dominate the Giants. Call me when you beat an NFL-caliber team.
5. Colin Kaepernick, 49ers — Anybody can dominate the Cowboys. Call me when you beat an NFL-caliber team.
6. J.J. Watt, Texans — He had one of the most dominant performances of his career Sunday against Washington, which is saying a lot. Problem is it’s been nearly 30 years since a defensive player last won this award.
7. Knowshon Moreno, Dolphins — He was the centerpiece of Miami’s offense in a huge victory over the Patriots, and he’s on pace to break the single-season rushing yards record (2,144). Hard to type that with a straight face but you get the point.
8. Jake Locker, Titans — Have we mentioned it’s early?
9. Russell Wilson, Seahawks — 110.9 rating in a methodical performance, beating a very strong opponent. He’ll climb.
10. Cameron Wake, Dolphins — Two game-changing strip sacks in a big upset victory over New England. Dude is a beast in his prime, and he’s finally getting support.