With a triple in the seventh inning off Colorado Rockies reliever Chris Rusin Sunday night, Ichiro Suzuki became the 30th hitter in Major League history to reach the 3000 hit milestone and just the second (Paul Molitor was the other) to do it with a three-bagger.
And with that historic hit will, inevitably, come the parade of licensed (and not licensed) memorabilia commemorating the feat by the Miami marlins outfielder.
That said, should you want to get a jump on all your buddies and snag some Ichiro swag yourself (personally, I still want this shirt)…here are some of the worst items out there.
Russian Nesting Doll Set (2005)
Stadium giveaway or not…there’s no reason to own these nesting dolls. Also see…THESE.
Ichiro Bendy Figure
“Makes a nice gift or stocking stuffer.” Sure…but only if the recipient has no idea who Ichiro is. And you hate the person you’re giving it to.
Ichiro New York Yankees Jersey
Now, I know what you’re thinking…“my guy played in the Bronx three years, what’s wrong with a Yankees jersey?” Nothing. Except that the home jerseys don’t have names on the backs.
Next!
Diecast Ichiro Hydroplane (2007)
I’m not exactly sure what a hydroplane is and, frankly, I’m don’t really care. But, should I ever had the desire…here’s one with Ichiro’s name on it.
Ichiro “Road to 3000” Fan
Okay. Out of everything here…this I understand. I didn’t say I wanted it, but I do get it.
Ichiro Celibriduck (2002)
Remember that month when Celebriducks were a thing? Yeah…me neither. This things makes Zooperstars look entertaining.
Sawdust from a Game-Used Ichiro Bat (2001)
I’d love to shit on this one, but, hey…it’s the one item I’d probably buy. True story.
Rookie of the Year Bobblehead (2001)
There are some horrible, horrible bobbleheads out there. This is one of them.
Also included…this guy from 2002.
